Archive for 2020

Charg­ing Ex­tra for Stu­pid­i­ty Could Turn the Coun­try’s Fi­nances Around in a Year or Two

In­ter­com: Wel­come to Popeye’s. Can I take your or­der?
Woman: Yes, I’d like a Num­ber 2 with a Sprite, please.
In­ter­com: That will be $8.43… mild or spicy?
Woman: Yes.
In­ter­com: Mild or spicy?
Woman: Yes, please.
In­ter­com: [laughter]Woman: What? What?
In­ter­com: That will be $41.23.

Wal­dorf, Mary­land

This Is How #2 Gets His Proof­read­ing Done for Free

Cowork­er #1: Have you filed your trav­el vouch­er for that con­fer­ence in In­di­anapo­lis?
Cowork­er #2: Yes.
Cowork­er #1: Let me see your copy so I can fill mine out cor­rect­ly.
Cowork­er #2: Here you go.
Cowork­er #1: Let’s see. You used the year ’05 in­stead of ’06, did not pro­vide departure/arrival times, omit­ted your so­cial se­cu­ri­ty num­ber, and did­n’t to­tal the round trip mileage and mileage re­im­burse­ment columns. Thanks.

4555 Cen­tral Av­enue
Colum­bus, In­di­ana

Gym Socks and Ran­cid As­para­gus (Um, We’re Guess­ing.)

Cowork­er #1: Have you heard about Ben & Jer­ry’s new fla­vor? Schwed­dy Balls!
Cowork­er #2: Se­ri­ous­ly?! That’s awe­some!
(awk­ward pause)
Cowork­er #3: I won­der what they taste like?

Spokane, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Adamm

Oh, Okay. Tweet­ie.

Teen girl, hold­ing a bag with a dead bird in­side: My grand­fa­ther called ear­li­er about get­ting this bird checked for West Nile virus. He found it in his yard.
Of­fice clerk: Ok, I re­mem­ber talk­ing to him this morn­ing. I need to get some in­for­ma­tion from you first. Now, what was his name?

The girl’s eyes get big, and she looks at the bag.

Of­fice clerk: No, not the bird’s name. I need to know your grand­fa­ther’s name.

616 Court Street
Ober­lin, Louisiana

Over­heard by: Vicky