Archive for 2020

My No­to­ri­ety’s Al­ready Got­ten Chlamy­dia Four Times

Gos­sip queen: So, Nate, saw you and Erin left dur­ing lunch to­geth­er. What’s goin’ on there?
Nate: Noth­in’.
Gos­sip queen: Oh, I get it. Wink. (walks away)
Nate to John: When did eat­ing lunch with some­one cor­re­late to hav­ing pen­e­trat­ed them? I swear to god, my rep­u­ta­tion gets laid about 300% more than I do.
John: Wink.

Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: me

No One In­tel­li­gent Gets Mar­ried

Clerk #1: My nephew is get­ting mar­ried, and his moth­er is not hap­py.
Clerk #2: Why’s that?
Clerk #1: Well she is Mex­i­can, Ital­ian or maybe from In­dia. I don’t know. They just don’t like her. He’s re­al­ly in­tel­li­gent, but they’re wor­ried about him quit­ting col­lege now.

1400 Dou­glas Street
Om­a­ha, Ne­bras­ka

Over­heard by: un­be­liev­able