Archive for 2020

Can We Say I’m in St. Tropez?

Teen boy: I want you to keep writ­ing for the school news­pa­per. You can be our for­eign cor­re­spon­dent!
Teen girl: For­eign? I’m not for­eign just be­cause I left the school.
Teen boy: Yes, you are. You’re so far now.
Teen girl: I’m on the oth­er side of Scar­bor­ough, and you’re say­ing I might as well be in Bo­livia!
Teen boy: We can say you are, if you want.

On­tario Uni­ver­si­ties’ Fair, Metro Toron­to Con­ven­tion Cen­tre
Toron­to, On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: made me laugh

(Oh, It To­tal­ly Is the Same Shirt.)

New­ly hired en­gi­neer: Is­n’t that the same shirt you wore yes­ter­day?
Prin­ci­pal en­gi­neer, slow­ly: No, but even if it was, that’s a dick thing to say.

Den­ver, Col­orado


Would­n’t Stop Dri­ving My Hot Rod Lin­coln

Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the pass­word to see it on­line. So, I need to know how much it is.
Em­ploy­ee: You can’t pay it with­out his au­tho­riza­tion. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t au­tho­rize any­thing, he’s in­car­cer­at­ed.
Em­ploy­ee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obit­u­ary or the death cer­tifi­cate.
Woman: What? He’s in­car­cer­at­ed! [pause] He’s in jail.
Em­ploy­ee: Oh.

Fred­er­ick, Mary­land