Office manager, calling out to boss: Do I have to take the diversity training if I am married to a black guy?
Viking Drive
Eden Prarie, Minnesota
Overheard by: I wouldn’t think so
Archive for 2020
What Are You, a Communist?
Female coworker to male coworker in next cubicle: I’m sorry, but I have no use for a talking fish!
Valley City, Ohio
And I Didn’t Even Know She Smoked!
Office drone to coworker: She had a very busy weekend, but what she was most excited about was the sausage party!
Chicago, Illinois
Exactly How Remains Between You and God
Anesthesiologist to orderly at computer: What’s my schedule look like?
Orderly to anesthesiologist: At 3 o’clock you get to knock that woman out.
Hospital
New York City, New York
Now Go Back to Your Storage Closet ‘Til We Buzz You Again
Entry level peon: What I need is a lackey to follow me around and do stuff for me when I tell them to.
Manager: Listen honey, I hate to tell you this, but you are the lackey.
Argentia Road
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: Nobody’s bitch
New York Magazine Is Calling Them “The Poor Man’s Godiva”
Minion #1: Do you have any chocolate?
Minion #2: Nope…I have beef chunks.
Minion #1: Uhhhhh…
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Virginia
That Was MasterBeta Testing
Developer #1: We’ve never run the application in a clustered environment.
Developer #2: Yeah, but we’ve run it in a cluster-fucked environment.
Canal Park
Cambridge, Massachusetts
2PM All Hands Call
Person: Hi, I’m here for my 1 o’clock meeting. I know I’m a little early…
Receptionist: I’m sorry, what?
Person: I’m here for my meeting at 1; I’m early. Sorry about that.
Receptionist: Um…Yeah, it’s almost 3…So…
Person: Oh sorry, right, 3, must be in a different time zone.
9250 Beverly Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
But If You Liked It, You Shoulda Put a Ring Ding on It
Employee#1: I will bring you gals some ding-dongs or something.
Employee#2: Ding-dongs always make a girl happy!!
Somewhere in Oregon
And It’s a Little Yeasty
Writer #1 on conference call: Man, I can hear that douchebag on the other end.
Writer #2: And I can smell his failure from here.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
