Young male coworker to another: You are the only cat I wanna pet.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Archive for 2020
4PM Complete Project
Worker #1: Wow, that was a tough job.
Worker #2: Yeah, they should give us something.
Worker #1: Like a basket?
Worker #2: Yeah, a basket of rifles!
2455 Faber Place
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: for meltnbean
“Oh, and we’re dropping quality, too.”
VP Engineering: Printing has been dropped as a feature, but at least we’re not sacrificing quality to meet the schedule.
2279 Vista Del Mar
San Mateo, California
For Our Readers Who Are Thinking About Quitting College
Woman in line at Starbucks, on cell: They stripped me, in the office, to my bra and underwear! (phone beeps) Just a minute. (switches to waiting call) Yeah? Yeah, I can get you an oatmeal.
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Jade Buddha
3PM Cigarette Break
Salesman: Well, I worked my way up from a mechanic to a salesman, but I’m still treated like the low man on the scrotum pole.
625 Spring Street
Reading, Pennsylvania
Perhaps Better Equipped, Though
Woman flipping through old textbook: In my ideal world, all Davids are naked.
Oldferry Road
Bristol, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Amy
9AM Work Makes Me Sick
Bean Counter #1: Opening the shades really changed the colors in the
room.
Bean Counter #2: Yeah, the walls are now a different color puke.
4 High Ridge Park
Stamford, Connecticut
It’s the Stooges, on Conference Call
Tech on phone: Hello, sir, I’m calling to– Yes, hello, this is Aaron* from– Yes, hello, I’m calling to verify an order you placed wi– Don’t say ‘hello’ again! I know you can hear me!
216 Mitch Lane
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
1PM Lunch
Co-worker #1: Hey, tell them that story you were telling me the other day. The one about Burger King.
Co-worker #2: What story about Burger King?
Co-worker #1: You know…you were with your dad or your father-in-law…
Co-worker #2: The story where my father had a heart attack because of a Burger King sandwich?
Co-worker #1: …Yeah.
Co-worker #2: That’s the story.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
So I’m Pretty Sure the Boss Is Pregnant
Peon: Rice belly would jiggle. Beer belly would, like, wobble hard.
King Street East
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Thank you, sensei
