Archive for 2020

Haven’t Been the Same Since I Fell In

Sec­re­tary #1: (tran­scrib­ing from a dic­ta­phone) <gig­gle>
Sec­re­tary #1: <gig­gle, gig­gle, gig­gle>
Sec­re­tary #1: <gig­gle, gig­gle, gig­gle>
Sec­re­tary #2: What’s so fun­ny?
Sec­re­tary #1: <gig­gle, gig­gle, gig­gle> I’m tran­scrib­ing this dic­ta­tion and he’s talk­ing about the sew­er sys­tem and he keeps talk­ing about go­ing in­to man­holes.
Sec­re­tary #2: So?
Sec­re­tary #1: Man­holes — get it — man­holes! He’s go­ing in­to man­holes!
Sec­re­tary #2: How old are you??????

327 S. Camino del Rio
Du­ran­go, CO


12PM Up­date Re­sume

Work­er #1: Man, I’m hav­ing a hard time since I’ve had to write about me. Do you have any sug­ges­tions?
Work­er #2: I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to sell my­self.

900 Wash­ing­ton Av­enue
Wa­co, Texas

He’d Rather Do It Av­o­ca­tion­al­ly

Man­ag­er: Why do they send so much of this stock? It’s nev­er gonna sell. What bunch of ar­se­holes thought this up at head of­fice?
Pe­on: This is re­al­ly get­ting to you, is­n’t it? I get the feel­ing you ap­plied for a job there, and they turned you down.
Man­ag­er: A job at head of­fice? No thanks, I’ve no de­sire to be an ar­se­hole for a liv­ing.
Pe­on: But you’d be so good at it.

4 The Sid­ings
Lin­coln, Unit­ed King­dom

They Should Make One Pill That Does Both

Fe­male ex-em­ploy­ee step­ping out the door af­ter an of­fice vis­it: Al­right, I got­ta go get a muf­fin. All that’s in my stom­ach right now is Prozac and birth con­trol.

Van­cou­ver
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Michelle