Archive for 2020

Thank God the Week­end’s Fi­nal­ly Here

Co-work­er #1: Have you ever been to Greece?
Co-work­er #2: Yup.
Co-work­er #1: Did you go see ru­ins of Pan­theos?
Co-work­er #2: You mean, “the Parthenon?”
Co-work­er #1: Yeah, that’s it! Aw man, to­day I’ve got…what’s that called?
Co-work­er #2: Stu­pid?
Co-work­er #1: Ha, ha. Very fun­ny. No…oh! Mind dyslex­ia!
Co-work­er #2: As op­posed to body dyslex­ia?

216 W. Jack­son Boule­vard
Chica­go, Illi­nois

The Best Part Is, It Was a Ba­nana.

Cashier: Since this is a liq­ui­da­tion, all sales are fi­nal and there are no re­turns or ex­changes.
Cus­tomer: So if some­thing’s wrong with it, I can’t re­turn it?
Cashier: That’s right.
Cus­tomer: Okay.
Cus­tomer, af­ter item is paid for: So, I can re­turn this if it’s wrong?
Cashier, sigh­ing: You know what? Give it a whirl. Let me know how that goes.

Chica­go, Illi­nois

Now, Would You Stop Bench-Press­ing Me?

Su­per­vi­sor to file clerk: You know, I re­al­ly don’t see you in the cor­po­rate work­place at all… I see you some­where do­ing some­thing vi­o­lent like the Amer­i­can Glad­i­a­tors or some­thing.

101 South 5th Street
Louisville, Ken­tucky

Over­heard by: Can­dice

A Lit­tle Some­thing Ex­tra on the Meat-Lover’s Piz­za, Ma’am

Em­ploy­ee #1: Yeah, it was a great porno. Yeah, she was all up on his taint. The taint. You know the part be­tween the meat and the hole? Yeah, that.
Em­ploy­ee #2, on the phone with cus­tomer: (cringe)
Cus­tomer on phone: Ex­cuse me…
Em­ploy­ee #2: Umm, yes ma’am?
Cus­tomer: Was that man talk­ing about balls?

Piz­za Place
Long Is­land, New York