Very upset office lady: I can’t believe she is downstairs eating corn while you are printing this out!
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: DougEvil
Archive for 2020
9AM Hadn’t Even Taken Off My Jacket
Boss: I was asked to suggest some strong people for this open
position in another department, and I think you’d be great for the job, but if you leave me, I’ll kill you.
8200 Interstate Highway 10 W
San Antonio, Texas
3PM In the Graphics Pool
Coworker: If you’re gonna do it, do it hard so I can’t breathe.
113 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
And FEMA Said They’d Take a Couple of Days to Get Here
Cube dweller: Dude, there’s like fucking rivers coming out of my uterus.
850 Broadway
Medford, Massachusetts
Teens Really Should Be Cleaning That Up Themselves
Female co-worker #1: So my ob-gyn has been seeing all these young girls for their annuals this summer. She was amazed at how much sex they’re having. Like 2 to 3 times a day. She had to tell them they had to stop having intercourse for a month so the Pill could take effect, and they say, “What are we supposed to do all summer?” She was shocked.
Female co-worker #2: How old are these girls?
Female co-worker #1: She said they’re between 17 and 20 years old.
Female co-worker #2: Geez. Even if I had time to have sex 2 times a day, I’d have better things to do!
Female co-worker #1: Yeah, like clean up after my teenagers!
Motor Vehicle Building
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Not getting any either
Actually, I’m More of a Cylon
Email: Let’s welcome Joe Smith to the company. He will report to Bill Scott.
Copywriter #1: I find it distressing when I don’t recognize the names of the supervisors. Are you sure Mr. Scott isn’t really a robot?
Copywriter #2: Mr. Scott has been with this organization for at least three years. He is not a robot…or if he is, they did a damn good job making him look human.
Copywriter #3: Sounds like something a fembot would say.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Like Making Pancakes.
20-something blonde in crowded elevator: I keep doing weird things with my butt.
New York City, New York
We’re a Federal Agency– So Yes
Boss: You’re not making up this crap about your grandmother dying, are you?
Analyst: No, do I have to prove it to you?
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Steve
…Is the Main Thing I Learned in Business School.
Intern to another: You can get a lot of blow for an AK.
Toronto
Canadia
…What? I Appreciate the Little Things in Life!
Office drone to another: So I had a first the other day: I saw a midget driving.
Lake Forest, California
