Archive for 2020

Okay, Now Ex­plain ‘Com­poot­er’

Obliv­i­ous fe­male boss flip­ping through mag­a­zine: Oooh, poot­er! I love poot­er.
Star­tled work­er: What?!
Obliv­i­ous fe­male boss: Look — poot­er let­ter open­ers!
Star­tled work­er: Um, that word is ac­tu­al­ly pro­nounced ‘pewter.’ [Un­der his breath] Christ.

6101 O’­Con­nell Av­enue
Col­orado Springs, Col­orado

Over­heard by: TK

How to Clear Out the Men’s Room in Three Words

Tall em­ploy­ee at uri­nal: Hey, you know the cool thing about be­ing tall? I can look over the di­vider.
Short em­ploy­ee at uri­nal: (si­lence)
Tall em­ploy­ee: Hey, lit­tle bud­dy!

Chat­tanooga, Ten­nessee

4PM Staff Meet­ing

Di­rec­tor: I don’t think that will cut the mus­tard.
Man­ag­er: You mean “pass muster”?
Di­rec­tor: No, it’s “cut the mus­tard!”
Man­ag­er: I think you’re try­ing to say you cut the cheese.

8001 Irvine Cen­ter Dri­ve
Irvine, Calif.

Over­heard by: Pffft