Ar­lene Had Dif­fi­cul­ty Grasp­ing the Con­cept Of a Skirt

An­noyed fe­male cowork­er: Stu­pid pants! Get in my crotch!

At­lanta, Geor­gia

Over­heard by: B. Rye

Get­ting Stuck Can Be Painful

Fe­male boss to male un­der­ling, about pre­dict­ed up­com­ing snow storm: Tell me how many inch­es it is and then I’ll de­cide if I have to be afraid of it!

Fel­ton, Delaware

If I Can’t Buy a Blouse There, It Does­n’t Ex­ist for Me.

Fe­male work­er #1: I told my cus­tomer we should be an­thro­pol­o­gists. Do you know what an­thro­pol­o­gy is?
Fe­male work­er #2: You mean like the store?
Fe­male work­er #1: No, that’s “An­thro­polo­gie” with an “i.”
Fe­male work­er #2. Then no.

Port­land, Ore­gon

…Ex­cept the Den­tistry.

Gate at­ten­dant on in­ter­com: We’ll be serv­ing din­ner on board. You don’t have to pay, you just have to eat it. A love­ly break­fast will be served in the morn­ing, and then the land­ing will be love­ly be­cause every­thing in Eng­land is love­ly.

JFK Air­port
New York

Over­heard by: ol­lie

It the Fu­ture, You’ll Be Able to Just Click a Box on the In­ter­net

Girl ap­ply­ing for mar­riage li­cense, to fi­ance: You sure you want to do this?
Fi­ance to girl: Who else am I gonna mar­ry?
Girl to clerk: Is this the same place you come for di­vorce too?

Clerk of Court Of­fice
Ti­tusville, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Tri­cia

If They’re Not Civ­il, You Can Fire Them

Of­fice dweller #1: What is a civ­il ser­vant?
Of­fice dweller #2: Like some­one that serves you in your house, like a but­ler.
Of­fice dweller #1: Oh, I thought it was like a post of­fice work­er or some­thing.
Of­fice dweller #2: Nope, pret­ty sure it’s a but­ler.

Cube world, San Diego

Over­heard by: Tired of the non­sense

At Least They Did­n’t Give You Mayo

Black of­fice work­er af­ter get­ting lunch: Teriya­ki sauce? Sweet and sour sauce? No BBQ sauce? How am I sup­posed to eat my chick­en nuggets, don’t they know I’m black?

New York City, New York

Over­heard by: Je­sus Jon

But South Amer­i­can Ge­og­ra­phy Was Nev­er My Forte

Cowork­er #1: What coun­try is Switzer­land in?
Cowork­er #2: I think it’s in Ire­land.

Michi­gan

They All Went Red on the Same Day

Pe­on #1: Green­field Com­mu­ni­ty Col­lege has gone com­mu­nist — they’re do­ing Vagi­na Mono­logues.
Pe­on #2: Don’t get me start­ed on Green­field­’s vagi­nas.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Mass­a­chu­setts
Amherst, Mass­a­chu­setts

And Why Are You Snap­ping Pho­tos?

Cowork­er, try­ing to get se­cu­ri­ty card out of pock­et: Why would you stand there and let me un­but­ton my pants when you al­ready had yours out?

Nashville, Ten­nessee