Archive for November, 2020

Can We Say I’m in St. Tropez?

Teen boy: I want you to keep writing for the school newspaper. You can be our foreign correspondent!
Teen girl: Foreign? I’m not foreign just because I left the school.
Teen boy: Yes, you are. You’re so far now.
Teen girl: I’m on the other side of Scarborough, and you’re saying I might as well be in Bolivia!
Teen boy: We can say you are, if you want.

Ontario Universities’ Fair, Metro Toronto Convention Centre
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: made me laugh

(Oh, It Totally Is the Same Shirt.)

Newly hired engineer: Isn’t that the same shirt you wore yesterday?
Principal engineer, slowly: No, but even if it was, that’s a dick thing to say.

Denver, Colorado


Wouldn’t Stop Driving My Hot Rod Lincoln

Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the password to see it online. So, I need to know how much it is.
Employee: You can’t pay it without his authorization. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t authorize anything, he’s incarcerated.
Employee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obituary or the death certificate.
Woman: What? He’s incarcerated! [pause] He’s in jail.
Employee: Oh.

Frederick, Maryland