Boss: You’re not making up this crap about your grandmother dying, are you?
Analyst: No, do I have to prove it to you?
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Steve
Archive for September, 2020
…Is the Main Thing I Learned in Business School.
Intern to another: You can get a lot of blow for an AK.
Toronto
Canadia
…What? I Appreciate the Little Things in Life!
Office drone to another: So I had a first the other day: I saw a midget driving.
Lake Forest, California
Is That Like Diddy’s White Party?
Engineer #1: What is taking her so long?
Engineer #2: We’re starving in here!
Engineer #1: Ya! Hasn’t she ever heard of the Donner Party?!
Utah
We Like to Refer to Them As Safety Deposit Squares
Cube rat on phone: Do you have safety deposit boxes? (pause) And how big is your biggest one? (pause) 10 by 10? How deep are those? (pause) But…what’s the third dimension? (pause) There is none? Um, okay, thanks anyway. Bye.
Washington, DC
…Ask Anyone I’ve Ever Slept With
Lesbian customer service rep: Hey, how does Smith* want to get paid?
Straight female sales rep: I don’t know.
Lesbian customer service rep: He’s your client!
Straight female sales rep: So?
Lesbian customer service rep: So that’s your job!
Straight female sales rep: Fuck you!
Lesbian customer service rep: Promises, promises…
Straight female sales rep: That’s not a promise, that’s a threat.
Fort Mill, South Carolina
In Tough Economic Times, It’s Good to See Everyone Helping Out
Disembodied voice coming from men’s room: Aww, man! We do that every year! …usually with our teeth …and while he’s still alive.
Austin, Texas
Exactly Why I Asked
Passenger: What time does the five o’clock bus leave?
Bus driver, sarcastically: I don’t know.
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: Another bus driver
But I’m the Janitor!
Account biller #1: Let me ask you something, what am I supposed to do with those claims the boss just gave me?
Account biller #2: Your job, perhaps?
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Cala
We Present: An Instant Customer Service Classic
Customer: Why are you billing me for this stuff?
CSR: Did you make the purchases on your credit card statement?
Customer: Yes, but I already paid for them. I used my credit card.
CSR: Yes, but now you have to pay your credit card bill.
Customer: That’s stupid. Why would I pay for something twice?
4325 17th Avenue S.
Fargo, North Dakota
