Boss: You’re not making up this crap about your grandmother dying, are you?
Analyst: No, do I have to prove it to you?
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Steve
Boss: You’re not making up this crap about your grandmother dying, are you?
Analyst: No, do I have to prove it to you?
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Steve
Intern to another: You can get a lot of blow for an AK.
Toronto
Canadia
Office drone to another: So I had a first the other day: I saw a midget driving.
Lake Forest, California
Engineer #1: What is taking her so long?
Engineer #2: We’re starving in here!
Engineer #1: Ya! Hasn’t she ever heard of the Donner Party?!
Utah
Cube rat on phone: Do you have safety deposit boxes? (pause) And how big is your biggest one? (pause) 10 by 10? How deep are those? (pause) But…what’s the third dimension? (pause) There is none? Um, okay, thanks anyway. Bye.
Washington, DC
Lesbian customer service rep: Hey, how does Smith* want to get paid?
Straight female sales rep: I don’t know.
Lesbian customer service rep: He’s your client!
Straight female sales rep: So?
Lesbian customer service rep: So that’s your job!
Straight female sales rep: Fuck you!
Lesbian customer service rep: Promises, promises…
Straight female sales rep: That’s not a promise, that’s a threat.
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Disembodied voice coming from men’s room: Aww, man! We do that every year! …usually with our teeth …and while he’s still alive.
Austin, Texas
Passenger: What time does the five o’clock bus leave?
Bus driver, sarcastically: I don’t know.
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: Another bus driver
Account biller #1: Let me ask you something, what am I supposed to do with those claims the boss just gave me?
Account biller #2: Your job, perhaps?
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Cala
Customer: Why are you billing me for this stuff?
CSR: Did you make the purchases on your credit card statement?
Customer: Yes, but I already paid for them. I used my credit card.
CSR: Yes, but now you have to pay your credit card bill.
Customer: That’s stupid. Why would I pay for something twice?
4325 17th Avenue S.
Fargo, North Dakota
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist