Girl applying for marriage license, to fiance: You sure you want to do this?
Fiance to girl: Who else am I gonna marry?
Girl to clerk: Is this the same place you come for divorce too?
Clerk of Court Office
Titusville, Florida
Overheard by: Tricia
Office dweller #1: What is a civil servant?
Office dweller #2: Like someone that serves you in your house, like a butler.
Office dweller #1: Oh, I thought it was like a post office worker or something.
Office dweller #2: Nope, pretty sure it’s a butler.
Cube world, San Diego
Overheard by: Tired of the nonsense
Black office worker after getting lunch: Teriyaki sauce? Sweet and sour sauce? No BBQ sauce? How am I supposed to eat my chicken nuggets, don’t they know I’m black?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
Coworker #1: What country is Switzerland in?
Coworker #2: I think it’s in Ireland.
Michigan
Peon #1: Greenfield Community College has gone communist — they’re doing Vagina Monologues.
Peon #2: Don’t get me started on Greenfield’s vaginas.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Coworker, trying to get security card out of pocket: Why would you stand there and let me unbutton my pants when you already had yours out?
Nashville, Tennessee
CSR: Stan* filled my pipeline with so much hardware it made my whole third quarter.
Hilton Head, South Carolina
Co-worker #1: Who are you talking to?
Co-worker #2: Myself.
Co-worker #1: Are you getting any answers?
100 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: What was that white box you were carrying?
Co-worker #2: Donuts. Why, you want one?
Co-worker #1: Yes!
Co-worker #3: Where were you?
Co-worker #1: What? Do you want donuts, too?
Co-worker #3: No, I want you to explain yourself for being late.
Co-worker #4: Yeah, you didn’t say anything when you called me at 7 this morning.
Co-worker #5: Yeah, she didn’t say anything to me last night at 11, either.
All stare at co-worker #5.
Co-worker #2: Just take the donuts and go away.
Co-worker #5: That’s what you said last night at 11, too!
401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee
Ditzy office peon looking at pregnant celebrity in magazine: It looks like she’s wearing one of those sha…sha-long things, ya know, that you carry a baby in.
Girl: Don’t you mean “sarong”?
Male office peon: Hahaha you said “shlong”!
Central Avenue
Wood Dale, Illinois
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
