Archive for June, 2020

But As a Para­le­gal? No.

Lawyer: Ben*, if I e‑mail you some­thing, can you fig­ure out how to print it on le­gal-size pa­per?
Para­le­gal: Um­mm, sure. [Lat­er brings back print­ed text.]Lawyer: Oh, great! You know, you have a fu­ture as a print­er!

575 Lex­ing­ton Av­enue
New York, New York

In Un­re­lat­ed News, Can I Have To­mor­row Off?

Blonde cowork­er: But that’s the prob­lem with this coun­try, peo­ple are lazy now, nev­er put any thought or ef­fort in­to any­thing. They’re slop­py. Like, some guy passed a bank teller a “this is a holdup” note on the back of his damn pay stub from his job. I can’t re­spect that kind of stu­pid­i­ty.
Man­ag­er: You know what? You would be a re­al­ly good crim­i­nal. I mean that as a com­pli­ment.
Blonde cowork­er: I know, right? It’s al­most scary. I’d nev­er get caught.

Chelms­ford, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: Not sure I want to sit by her any­more

Chris­tine O’­Don­nell, for One.

Law firm la­dy #1: What state is DC in? Vir­ginia or Mary­land?
Law firm la­dy #2: Well, it’s its own state; just put ‘DC’ as the state.
Law firm la­dy #1: Okay, thanks. But, was DC ever a state at one point? I know like some peo­ple there still want to be part of the con­fed­er­a­cy or some­thing.

Man­hat­tan, New York

Over­heard by: Jim­my