Archive for June, 2020

But As a Paralegal? No.

Lawyer: Ben*, if I e‑mail you something, can you figure out how to print it on legal-size paper?
Paralegal: Ummm, sure. [Later brings back printed text.]Lawyer: Oh, great! You know, you have a future as a printer!

575 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York

In Unrelated News, Can I Have Tomorrow Off?

Blonde coworker: But that’s the problem with this country, people are lazy now, never put any thought or effort into anything. They’re sloppy. Like, some guy passed a bank teller a “this is a holdup” note on the back of his damn pay stub from his job. I can’t respect that kind of stupidity.
Manager: You know what? You would be a really good criminal. I mean that as a compliment.
Blonde coworker: I know, right? It’s almost scary. I’d never get caught.

Chelmsford, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Not sure I want to sit by her anymore

Christine O’Donnell, for One.

Law firm lady #1: What state is DC in? Virginia or Maryland?
Law firm lady #2: Well, it’s its own state; just put ‘DC’ as the state.
Law firm lady #1: Okay, thanks. But, was DC ever a state at one point? I know like some people there still want to be part of the confederacy or something.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Jimmy