Customer: … And before I go, can I get your name, Stanley*?
Stanley, the salesman: Um… Well, it’s… Stanley.
Canton, Michigan
Archive for May, 2020
…Which Explains Why I Was in the Bathroom All Morning.
Female intern: I hope I never deal with childbirth. I just want to lay an egg and be done with it.
Stoughton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Billy
I Didn’t Have Any Real Apples, So I Used Ball Bearings
Sales guy: I made a pie once.
Assistant: Okay, I bite. What kind of pie did you make?
Sales guy: An apple one.
Assistant: Did it come out of a box?
Sales guy: No, I made it. All by myself. But it was really heavy. It must have been about ten pounds. I think I was stoned. This was back in like 1972… I just remember it was really heavy. I think it was about four inches thick.
Charlotte, North Carolina
How You Know Your Coworker Is Straight
Employee: Did you see the Accounting Department? They are all dressed up like the Village People… or the Seven Dwarfs — I’m not sure.
100 Mountain Road
Framingham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Snow Whitefish
…As We All Learned During Happy Hour Yesterday.
Boss: You never know which way a frog is going to jump until you punch him.
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: Nate
Good Thing We Only Have a Couple of Those a Year
Woman on phone: That’s why I’m not going to drive the Kia on hot days anymore.
Lind Avenue
Renton, Washington
She Used to Be Rather Restrained
Newlywed coworker: I am all about leather.
33 New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Baby, We Don’t Need to Go Outside
Female employee to female supervisor: Do you want to go outside and get hot with me?
1200 Southwest Boulevard
Jefferson City, Missouri
Especially If You Go On the Rides
Colleague: We went on a day trip to Auschwitz but it’s not a very happy place.
15 – 19 Bloomsbury Way
London, England
Do You Really Want to Go There, Madame Days-of-the-Week?
Female manager to frustrated sales rep: Just put your big girl panties on and deal with it!
Business owner, over her shoulder: Oh, oh! Stern words from Miss Kello-Kitty-pants!
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
