Archive for May, 2020

Peanuts and Wa­ter It Is, Sir.

Sin­ga­pore flight at­ten­dant: For din­ner we have chick­en cur­ry or beef Stroganoff.
Aus­tralian pas­sen­ger: I’ll have the lamb.

Sin­ga­pore Air­lines

3PM As­sign­ing Per­son­nel

Ac­count man­ag­er: Hey, [the cus­tomer] wants us to come in and make a pre­sen­ta­tion. Are you avail­able to come with me next week?
Sales di­rec­tor: No. What I’m plan­ning to do is to put to­geth­er an en­tire project team — sales, mar­ket­ing, en­gi­neer­ing, qual­i­ty, man­u­fac­tur­ing, maybe even fi­nance. I want to show that we have a com­pre­hen­sive cross-func­tion­al team in place, so that we look like we know what we’re do­ing, no mat­ter that the cus­tomer asks.
Ac­count man­ag­er: That sounds great. Who else is gonna be on the team?
Sales di­rec­tor: Well, it looks like just me and you for now. Ask me again next month.

28100 Cabot Dri­ve
Novi, Michi­gan

And I Was Like, “Mis­sion Ac­com­plished!”

Fe­male cowork­er #1: By that time I was drunk enough to run in there my­self. So I bought one of ’em. It was like a reg­u­lar con­dom, but it had these lit­tle pink things…
Fe­male cowork­er #2: You bought a french tick­ler?
Fe­male cowork­er #1: Yeah! So we blew it up at our ta­ble and start­ed us­ing it as a vol­ley­ball. It was re­al­ly fun for a while, and then I spiked it in­to the priest’s head and we were asked to leave the re­cep­tion.

Al­bany, New York

Over­heard by: Dou­bled over Cowork­er