Archive for March, 2020

We For­got We Have to Watch Our Tongues Around You

Of­fice la­dy #1: I guess no one ob­ject­ed to me toss­ing out their sal­ad.
Of­fice la­dy #2: Well, Jim did when I tossed his.
Of­fice guy #1: I re­al­ly hope you guys are talk­ing about a reg­u­lar sal­ad.
Of­fice la­dy #2: No, I was talk­ing about his ass.
Of­fice la­dy #1: What? I don’t get it.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Mary­land

Over­heard by: Mykl

1PM Lunch

Work­er #1: I thought you were sup­posed to be at the doc­tor.
Work­er #2: Look at me! I can’t go in there! He’d put me on some­thing for sure!

4182 Forsyth Road
Ma­con, Geor­gia

…Could You Turn on My Com­put­er for Me?

Cre­ative di­rec­tor: I can’t take the course be­cause I don’t have the soft­ware.
Pe­on: Why don’t you find out what the soft­ware costs and how to get it, and sub­mit a pro­pos­al?
Cre­ative di­rec­tor: I don’t know where to find that in­for­ma­tion.
Pe­on: Why don’t you use some­thing called “the in­ter­net” to look it up?
Cre­ative di­rec­tor: You mean like go in­to Google and type the name of the soft­ware?
Pe­on: Yeah, like that.
Cre­ative di­rec­tor: Oh, good idea.

Colum­bus, Ohio

Over­heard by: Horse Whis­per­er