Archive for February, 2020

Just Like at My Wed­ding.

Cowork­er on busi­ness call: You have my email ad­dress? (pause) Yes, it was a ques­tion. I for­got to say the word “do.”

Flat­iron Build­ing
Man­hat­tan, New York

Gre­gor Sam­sa’s Daugh­ter Suf­fers from Low Self-Es­teem

Of­fice la­dy #1: As soon as you put out cook­ies or can­dy or what­ev­er, peo­ple around here de­scend on it. They’re like cock­roach­es.
Of­fice la­dy #2, eat­ing free can­dy: Oh, thank you very much! I’m a cock­roach, am I?
Of­fice la­dy #1: Fine. It’s like mag­ic, okay?
Of­fice la­dy #2: Mag­i­cal cock­roach­es?
Of­fice la­dy #1: Mag­i­cal cock­roach­es.
Of­fice la­dy #2: Well, it’s good to know that at least I’m a mag­i­cal cock­roach.

Man­hat­tan, New York

Over­heard by: Rose Fox

2PM Pick Up Mail

Co-work­er #1: Is [Hal] here?
Co-work­er #2: No.
Co-work­er #1: What should I do with the mail? Do you get it?
Co-work­er #2: What do you do with the mail every day?
Co-work­er #1: Put it on [Hal]‘s desk.
Co-work­er #2: Well then?
Co-work­er #1: Well I was­n’t sure. I for­got.

740 San­som Street
Phi­adel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Oooh, Lit­tle Cuts!

Hus­band: They have fa­ji­tas.
Wife: I don’t like or­der­ing Mex­i­can food from non-Mex­i­can restau­rants.
Hus­band: You don’t like any­thing.
Wife: I like lots of things!
Hus­band: Liar!
Wife, af­ter re­peat­ed­ly hit­ting hus­band with menu: I liked that!

Bowl­ing Green, Ken­tucky

At Least the Sex Was Over Quick­ly

Cowork­er #1: I am so tired.
Cowork­er #2: Why?
Cowork­er #1: The plow­ing all night kept me up. It was loud­er than nor­mal and I wish it did­n’t last so long.

Woburn, Mass­a­chu­setts