Archive for February, 2020

Just Like at My Wedding.

Coworker on business call: You have my email address? (pause) Yes, it was a question. I forgot to say the word “do.”

Flatiron Building
Manhattan, New York

Gregor Samsa’s Daughter Suffers from Low Self-Esteem

Office lady #1: As soon as you put out cookies or candy or whatever, people around here descend on it. They’re like cockroaches.
Office lady #2, eating free candy: Oh, thank you very much! I’m a cockroach, am I?
Office lady #1: Fine. It’s like magic, okay?
Office lady #2: Magical cockroaches?
Office lady #1: Magical cockroaches.
Office lady #2: Well, it’s good to know that at least I’m a magical cockroach.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Rose Fox

2PM Pick Up Mail

Co-worker #1: Is [Hal] here?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: What should I do with the mail? Do you get it?
Co-worker #2: What do you do with the mail every day?
Co-worker #1: Put it on [Hal]‘s desk.
Co-worker #2: Well then?
Co-worker #1: Well I wasn’t sure. I forgot.

740 Sansom Street
Phiadelphia, Pennsylvania

Oooh, Little Cuts!

Husband: They have fajitas.
Wife: I don’t like ordering Mexican food from non-Mexican restaurants.
Husband: You don’t like anything.
Wife: I like lots of things!
Husband: Liar!
Wife, after repeatedly hitting husband with menu: I liked that!

Bowling Green, Kentucky

At Least the Sex Was Over Quickly

Coworker #1: I am so tired.
Coworker #2: Why?
Coworker #1: The plowing all night kept me up. It was louder than normal and I wish it didn’t last so long.

Woburn, Massachusetts

You Say That Every Time

Manager: Well, you must have felt the body when you ran over it.
Employee with foreign accent: I did not feel it.
Manager: You didn’t feel a thump?
Employee with foreign accent: I thought I was dragging a trash bag.

Harborside Drive
East Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Addababy Itsaboy