Archive for January, 2020

10AM Work on Prints

Engineer: How much longer will you be using those prints?
Safety Manager: Five minutes.
Engineer: What if I borrow them for three minutes and then give them back to you?
Safety Manager: I’d say yes, but you won’t give them back in three minutes. So, no, you can’t borrow them.
Engineer: You’re so much like your dad, it’s not even funny. 

186 Gilman Avenue
Campbell, California

Overheard by: Shannon 

2PM Conference

Conferenceperson: Could you please have a pot of coffee ready for my 2 o’clock meeting?
Secretary: Um, there’s a scheduled 1 hour long power outage at 1:30.
Conferenceperson: That’s okay, we have lights.

Computer Science Building
Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York

9AM Why Am I Here?

Accounting: My cat turned off my alarm this morning and made me oversleep.
Receptionist: What?
Accounting: Yeah, normally she sleeps under the covers with me, and I hear her get up and start pacing around to wake me up. But today she must have just gotten up and stepped on my alarm.
Receptionist: Well, she must have known you needed to sleep in. 

850 Mount Vernon Highway NE
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Cat 

Any Other Dreams I Can Crush Before Lunch?

Secretary #1: Is your boyfriend coming for Christmas?
Secretary #2: Yeah! He’s in med school in Seattle studying to be an ER doc, so I don’t get to see him much.
Female doctor, just coming into room: Them! Don’t get me started on ER docs!
Secretary #1: Oh?
Doctor: They can’t keep their pants on–and the married ones are worse!

Albany General Hosptial
Albany, Oregon

10AM Check Out the Lobby

A co-worker steps out of the elevator into the reception lobby.

Co-worker #1: Ew, it smells like a nursing home in here.

5 minutes pass.

Co-worker #2: Mmm, it smells good in here.

55 Southbank Boulevard
Melbourne, Victoria

Overheard by: Emily Hopkins