Older cube dweller: That was the title of a great Rascals song. Have you heard of The Rascals?
Younger cube dweller: No, I’m young. And foreign.
Troy, New York
Archive for January, 2020
But It’s Not Friday Yet.
Waiter: There’s a fly buzzing around. I kept him off your food.
Manager: Ah, it doesn’t matter. Nobody ever died from that.
Waiter: Nobody ever died from licking my balls, either. You want to come over here and do that?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
10AM Work on Prints
Engineer: How much longer will you be using those prints?
Safety Manager: Five minutes.
Engineer: What if I borrow them for three minutes and then give them back to you?
Safety Manager: I’d say yes, but you won’t give them back in three minutes. So, no, you can’t borrow them.
Engineer: You’re so much like your dad, it’s not even funny.
186 Gilman Avenue
Campbell, California
Overheard by: Shannon
2PM Conference
Conferenceperson: Could you please have a pot of coffee ready for my 2 o’clock meeting?
Secretary: Um, there’s a scheduled 1 hour long power outage at 1:30.
Conferenceperson: That’s okay, we have lights.
Computer Science Building
Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York
In a Vain Attempt to Distract Me
Worker: Sexual relations-wise, it’s been a while.
Friend: Oh, really?
Worker: The last time was the Superbowl, cause I remember she blew me at halftime.
Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
9AM Why Am I Here?
Accounting: My cat turned off my alarm this morning and made me oversleep.
Receptionist: What?
Accounting: Yeah, normally she sleeps under the covers with me, and I hear her get up and start pacing around to wake me up. But today she must have just gotten up and stepped on my alarm.
Receptionist: Well, she must have known you needed to sleep in.
850 Mount Vernon Highway NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Cat
Any Other Dreams I Can Crush Before Lunch?
Secretary #1: Is your boyfriend coming for Christmas?
Secretary #2: Yeah! He’s in med school in Seattle studying to be an ER doc, so I don’t get to see him much.
Female doctor, just coming into room: Them! Don’t get me started on ER docs!
Secretary #1: Oh?
Doctor: They can’t keep their pants on–and the married ones are worse!
Albany General Hosptial
Albany, Oregon
Put a Nice Potted Plant on It?
Fashion designer girl #1: I really want a bookshelf, but I don’t have any books.
Fashion designer girl #2: Maybe you could get a short one and paint it white.
8360 Melrose Avenue
West Hollywood, California
10AM Check Out the Lobby
A co-worker steps out of the elevator into the reception lobby.
Co-worker #1: Ew, it smells like a nursing home in here.
5 minutes pass.
Co-worker #2: Mmm, it smells good in here.
55 Southbank Boulevard
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Emily Hopkins
You Wacky Brits Pickle Everything
Female teacher to male teacher: Aw, you’re such a gentleman! When you die we’re going to pickle you and put you in the corner and label you “the last gentleman.”
Arts and Humanities Dept
Bexhill College
England
Overheard by: Corinne
