Archive for 2019

You Might Feel Cooler Without the Mustache

Female Medical Records clerk, in thick German accent: It's so fucking hot in here. But I used to have a problem with sweating a lot when I lived in Germany, too. I think I have too much testosterone.

Temple, Texas

Overheard by: PuppsMcGee

If They Ever Get out of the Burn Unit

Guy: Why can’t you just have the party at your place?
Girl: ‘Cuz I lost my damage deposit after that one time when that guy caught himself on fire.
Guy: A guy caught himself on fire and you lost your deposit?
Girl: Well, he dropped and rolled on the carpet. Then someone tried to put out the embers with rum, so the carpet caught fire too.
Guy: ….
Girl: Yeah, no more parties at my place cuz I have stupid friends who totally owe me $500 now.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Nosey