Archive for 2019

This Is an Ex-Pa­tient!

Re­cep­tion­ist: So we’re go­ing to need to resched­ule his ap­point­ment, then?
Nurse: No, Mary*, this pa­tient has passed away.
Re­cep­tion­ist: Okay, so then I’ll call him in the morn­ing?
Nurse: You don’t un­der­stand. He’s dead.
Re­cep­tion­ist: Well, Dr. Smith* has a slot open for Mon­day…
Nurse: He’s dead.

Prov­i­dence Hos­pi­tal, 5th Street and Col­by Av­enue
Everett, Wash­ing­ton

Dear World, I’m Killing My­self at This Time to In­con­ve­nience Cousin Bob

Co-Work­er: My cousin died in a car ac­ci­dent yes­ter­day.
Boss: Oh, I’m sor­ry.
Co-Work­er: Yeah. The fu­ner­al is Sat­ur­day in St. Louis.
Boss: Will you be go­ing?
Co-Work­er: Oh no! That’s not enough time for me to get every­thing around and make it down there! I mean, maybe if they had giv­en me a week’s no­tice…

Olen­tangy Riv­er Road
Colum­bus, Ohio