Archive for 2019

Thanks to Compressed-World Technology

Receptionist #1: I can’t believe I’ll be in England next week. I think we might drive to Australia, too — they have better beaches.
Receptionist #2: Is that far?
Receptionist #1: No, I think it’s a two-hour drive from here.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Not Even Kidding

She Made the Same Mistake with Love in the 1960s

Technician: Ma’am, your Jaguar needs a new engine.
Jag owner: How can that be?
Technician: When’s the last time you had the oil changed?
Jag owner: My salesperson Vinnie* told me the car was maintenance-free, and just bring it in when it needs service.
Technician: No, ma’am, it’s not maintenance-free, it’s free maintenance.

1815 Maplelawn Drive
Troy, Michigan

Overheard by: Vinyl Junkie

Could Be a Wooden Plank in a Stripper Costume

Drone #1: Christ! I need to play the lottery.
Drone #2: Why, how much is it?
Drone #1: 250 million. If I win I'm flipping the bird to this place and you and I are gonna go hit Vegas. I'm gonna die balls deep in some hot stripper.
Drone #2: A female one right?
Drone #1: At 250 million, it won't matter.

Broadway & 42nd
New York City, New York