Archive for 2019

Just Nod and Smile– You Make More Mon­ey

Cus­tomer, putting bright plas­tic East­er eggs with toys in­side them on the counter: I want to re­turn these.
Clerk: Is there a prob­lem with them?
Cus­tomer: I on­ly let my kids play with ed­u­ca­tion­al toys, and these aren’t good for them.
Clerk: Okay.
Cus­tomer: They have di­nosaurs in them! But di­nosaurs did­n’t hatch from eggs!
Clerk: Ac­tu­al­ly, ma’am, they did…
Cus­tomer: You can’t tell me that some­thing that big came out of an egg. What do you know any­ways, did you even fin­ish high school? Look at where you work! I need ed­u­ca­tion­al toys for my kids.
Clerk: I will be more than hap­py to re­turn them, did you want to ex­change them for some­thing else?
Cus­tomer, putting more eggs on the counter: Yes, these with the aliens. I on­ly want toys for my chil­dren that are ac­cu­rate.

Las Ve­gas, Neva­da

4PM I’m Out of Here

La­dy: How do I get to the ra­dio sta­tion?
Re­cep­tion­ist: You have to go down the hall and take the el­e­va­tor down.

20 min­utes pass.

La­dy : Okay, I did the singing telegram, now I need a bath­room.

4041 Mill Street
Kansas City, Mis­souri

… But No

An­cient les­bian wait­ress: You ever tried to buy den­tal dams at three A.M. in the Bible belt?
Wide-eyed teen bus boy: Uh… I have sooo many ques­tions about what you just said…

Cir­cle Cen­tre Mall
In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Shat­man­du

Psh, Like That Mat­ters

Sec­re­tary: Wait, don’t you have to be in the mil­i­tary to run for pres­i­dent?
Work­er: No. I’ve tak­en karate in the past, so I get to skip that step.
Sec­re­tary: Oh… But do you re­al­ly think you’d get enough votes?

5000 South Lewis Av­enue
Tul­sa, Ok­la­homa

Over­heard by: Whoa Now