Archive for 2019

Nice Save, Dear Col­league

Younger man: I got­ta do some­thing. I can’t keep wait­ing around for my un­cle to die, but I don’t want to kill him.
Old­er la­dy: You’re talk­ing too loud, peo­ple can hear you.
Younger man: Kill him with kind­ness… ain’t that the Chris­t­ian thing to do?

Tul­sa, Ok­la­homa


Re­cep­tion­ist: … And what start are you call­ing from?”
*puts caller on hold and yells: “who has new hamp­shire?“
Co-work­er: “I do.“
Re­cep­tion­ist: “well, what state is new hamp­shire in?”

Al­aba­ma Street, In­di­anapo­lis

What­ev­er– It’s All Dis­ney to Me

Of­fice guy on phone: We were at this park, and there were gators and al­li­ga­tors… I’m guess­ing the gators are na­tive to thigh-land.

Mid­dle­boro, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: mikey

12PM Lunch

Food ser­vice work­er: What type of so­da would you like to­day?
Fe­male cus­tomer: Large.
Food ser­vice work­er: Yes, mam’m. But what type or fla­vor did you want?
Fe­male cus­tomer: I said large.
Food ser­vice work­er: Yes, ma’am. Di­et Coke? Sprite? Coke? What type?
Fe­male cus­tomer: Are you fuck­ing stu­pid or some­thing? Large. A large so­da. How many times do I have to tell you?

San Diego Mall Food Court
San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia