Archive for 2019

The Per­son­al Is Po­lit­i­cal

Woman #1: Your boss asked you to be sure to at­tend the com­pa­ny par­ty at a strip club!?
Woman #2: Yeah, what’s so bad about that?
Woman #1: Well, you’re go­ing to be sur­round­ed by naked, gy­rat­ing ladies, and that’s sex­ist and out­ra­geous!
Woman #2: Re­al­ly? I was look­ing for­ward to see­ing my sis­ter.

630 East Lake
Chica­go, Illi­nois

The Guy at the Bur­ri­to Counter Winked at Me, and I Lost All Con­trol

Frus­trat­ed su­per­vi­sor to quit­ting em­ploy­ee: And I’ll need your pass­word for your com­put­er. Why don’t you just give me that now?
Em­ploy­ee, mum­bling: It’s “Latin­om­neeee.“
Su­per­vi­sor: Did you say “Lati­no E”? I could­n’t un­der­stand you.
Em­ploy­ee: No, it’s “Lati­no heat.”
(awk­ward si­lence)
Em­ploy­ee: I guess I was feel­ing a lit­tle frisky that day.

Brook­lyn, New York

Over­heard by: ap

I Know You Are but What Am I

Su­per­vi­sor: I’m sor­ry, but were you just talk­ing on a call? You aren’t sup­posed to be talk­ing on calls.
Op­er­a­tor: Well, I was­n’t, but now I’m talk­ing to you.
(su­per­vi­sor walks off)

Mem­phis, Ten­nessee

Over­heard by: Rid­er

And Re­quest to Be Buried with the Pa­per

Ad­min, look­ing up from news­pa­per and greet­ing guest: Hel­lo, Mr Blue. Please have a seat, di­rec­tor Green will be right with you.
Mr Blue: You know, if you were my em­ploy­ee and you were read­ing the pa­per at your desk, I would fire you.
Ad­min: If I were your em­ploy­ee, I would kill my­self.

In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Civ­il Ser­vant