Archive for 2019

The Best Part Is, This Is a Vet­eri­nary Of­fice.

Of­fice as­sis­tant to pa­tient: Well duh, you can tell the dif­fer­ence be­tween a frog leg and a chick­en leg… Frog legs don’t have bones.
Pa­tient: Uhh… Yeah they do!

Gri­d­ley, Cal­i­for­nia

Who’s Best Hands Up?

Woman #1: Heard from your old high school boyfriend late­ly?
Woman #2: No. He’s trav­el­ing. Mov­ing to Flori­da. Wife num­ber three.
Woman #1: Would you nail him again?
Woman #2: In a heart­beat. Best in oral sex, hands down.

Para­mus, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Makin’ Copies

Al­so Cleans Up Eas­i­er Than Mo­tor Oil

Hair­dress­er: Oh, by the way, thanks for the tip about the As­troglide — it’s awe­some! Client: Oh, you fi­nal­ly got some? And you love it?!
Hair­dress­er: Love it? I had to tell Paul* I saw an ad in Cos­mo, or he’d know I was talk­ing about our sex life at work.
Client: So, it’s cool, right? And does­n’t dry up, right?
Hair­dress­er: Lis­ten, it makes him for­get he’s a New York po­lice of­fi­cer — to­tal­ly awe­some!

Hills­dale, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Re­cep­tion­ist