Boss: I don’t need to see everything before it goes out the door. Just send me a final, final, rough draft.
Union Square
New York, New York
Boss: I don’t need to see everything before it goes out the door. Just send me a final, final, rough draft.
Union Square
New York, New York
Office grunt: I don’t know where he gets it from… No, wait, I know where he gets it from — he sucks the energy of others.
Software office
Hauppauge, New York
Overheard by: Lauren
VP: So are you ready to service me yet?
Peon: Yes, I am ready to pleasure you now.
VP: Sounds good; is [Alex] ready too?
[Alex]: Yes, m’lady, I too am ready to provide you my services.
VP: Let’s go get started in the blue room, then.
8441 Wayzata Boulevard
Golden Valley, Minnesota
Overheard by: Sam Racadabra
Female worker: That’s my cue to saddle up! (mimes mounting a horse)
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Overheard by: Intern in the next Cube
Finance: There must be something in between “tax accountant” and
“undercover narc.”
156 W. 56th Street
New York, NY
Coworker #1: I can’t believe you would give someone a nickname like that!
Coworker #2: I thought you knew what a “pole smoker” was.
Coworker #1: No, I didn’t. And my mom didn’t think it was funny when my wife explained it to the family at Easter, either!
Coworker #2: So does that mean you’re going to change your screen name?
Evansville, Indiana
40-something guy: So are you working now?
Recent college grad, buying beer: What do you mean?
Mamaroneck, New York
Overheard by: An employee who knows what ‘work’ means b/c of these people
Proofer: Is “situs” the right word there? I’m not sure what that is.
Actuary: Yes, I don’t know what that is either, but we’ve been using it consistently.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
HR woman on phone with rep at staffing agency: I will drive over there and I will smack you; and then I will fire you in front of your peers.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Anony Mouse
Assistant: I don’t think you’re crazy. I may vomit on you, but I don’t think you’re crazy.
9050 Washington Boulevard
Culver City, California
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist