Suit #1: How did your glasses break?
Suit #2: A big girl sat on them.
Suit #1: Next time take them off your face first.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Suit #1: How did your glasses break?
Suit #2: A big girl sat on them.
Suit #1: Next time take them off your face first.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Hardhat #1 yelling to buddy in crane: How’d you get to be so tall?
Hardhat #2: Insanity.
Hardhat #1: Shamu?
Hardhat #2: No — insanity.
Hardhat #1: I can’t hear anything down here.
University of Arkansas
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Lawyer on phone to client: They’re fuckin’ you, Dave*. It’s a new way of fucking, but they’re fucking you.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Office mate #1: My brother’s girlfriend brought dinner over last night.
Office mate #2: Is it weird–since you guys are twins– that your brother’s girlfriend knows exactly what you look like naked?
Santa Monica, California
Sexy program manager: Too late. It’s in my mouth.
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: casayoto
Coworker: There is a really neat installation art center in Omaha.
Boss: What city in Omaha?
Coworker: Uh… Omaha.
Boss: Right, but what city?
Coworker: [Long pause] Hard to say.
Woodhaven, New York
Intern: You know, Michael Jackson always reminded me of Darth Vader.
Employee: Who?
Intern: From Star Wars.
Employee: Wait, Michael Jackson was in Star Wars?
Pennsylvania
Coworker on phone: Thank you for calling our company. How the hell may I help you now?
Manhattan, New York
Worker: Hey, it’s Friday! You should go drink something in the lounge before you leave. Almost everyone’s in a meeting. I’ve already had two beers.
Intern: Haha, um… I’m actually underage.
Worker: Oh, who cares?
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: not in meeting
Woman on phone with tech support: Yes, ma’am, I am in front of my computer. That’s how I know it’s frozen.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist