Suit #1: How did your glasses break?
Suit #2: A big girl sat on them.
Suit #1: Next time take them off your face first.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Archive for November, 2019
I’m Just Trying to Be Polite
Hardhat #1 yelling to buddy in crane: How’d you get to be so tall?
Hardhat #2: Insanity.
Hardhat #1: Shamu?
Hardhat #2: No — insanity.
Hardhat #1: I can’t hear anything down here.
University of Arkansas
Fayetteville, Arkansas
…I Told You Never to Turn Your Back on Kindergarteners.
Lawyer on phone to client: They're fuckin' you, Dave*. It's a new way of fucking, but they're fucking you.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
It Is Now
Office mate #1: My brother's girlfriend brought dinner over last night.
Office mate #2: Is it weird–since you guys are twins– that your brother's girlfriend knows exactly what you look like naked?
Santa Monica, California
“Except”?
Office worker on phone: Sharice* is the ultimate fly girl. Except for getting arrested in Miami.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Class Warrior
My Early 20's: Encapsulated.
Sexy program manager: Too late. It's in my mouth.
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: casayoto
You Mean Its Public Face or Its Seamy Underbelly?
Coworker: There is a really neat installation art center in Omaha.
Boss: What city in Omaha?
Coworker: Uh… Omaha.
Boss: Right, but what city?
Coworker: [Long pause] Hard to say.
Woodhaven, New York
Sit Tight– This Conversation Could Go on All. Friggin. Day.
Intern: You know, Michael Jackson always reminded me of Darth Vader.
Employee: Who?
Intern: From Star Wars.
Employee: Wait, Michael Jackson was in Star Wars?
Pennsylvania
Worst. 911 Operator. Ever.
Coworker on phone: Thank you for calling our company. How the hell may I help you now?
Manhattan, New York
MC Hammer Begs to Differ
Coworker: I can't touch that.
Manager, walking by: Whoah… Let him touch it!
Phoenix, Arizona