Supervisor: So Tina* and I are actually getting along really well! We discovered that we both have the same work style, which is Crazy Psycho Bitch.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Archive for September, 2019
Um, Yeah, I Saw the YouTube Video.
Sales guy #1: Wanna go across the street to the deli for lunch? I hear they make a mean BLT.
Sales guy #2: They’re expensive.
Sales guy #1: Dude… I’m so frekkin rich I wipe my ass with dollar bills.
Seattle, Washington
Cigarette, Anyone?
CEO wrapping up a video conference: I just want to thank everyone for making this the best three-way I’ve ever had!
Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: Admin Assistant K
The Picture Says It All, Dear Reader
Cubicle mate: When he sings “My Corona,” is he talking about his beer? (later, once lyrics are explained) What the hell is a “Sharona,” anyway?
Scarborough
Canadia
I Don’t See Much Market for a Pants Cam, Though
Guy in cubicle on phone: Well, it feels like it’s about 3 or 4 inches up in there! No… No. Well, did you see the pictures? Because you can totally see it’s all the way up in there!
Oil Company
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Or Shaped Like Giant Doorways, in Case of Earthquakes
Guy clerk: Hey, this safety pamphlet says to get into the bathtub if a tornado is coming.
Gal clerk: Well, duh, why don’t they just build houses shaped like giant bathtubs?
5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Funny, We Feel the Exact Opposite Way.
<b>president:</b> let me put it this way… I make a lot of money, you should trust me.
Fort Mill, SC
…Ever Since the Carrier Pigeon’s Untimely Demise.
Engineer: The woodridge office is nice. They have an intercom system.
Secretary: We have that too. It’s called screaming over the top of the cubicles.
Wheaton, Illinois
Like That One Time at Andy Dick’s House
Worker getting up from corner of a desk: Oh my god, I think I sat on a nerve… My penis is numb! You know the technique “the stranger” where you sit on your hand?
Coworker: Yeah.
Numb worker: This is the opposite of that, it’s like I have someone else’s penis in my pants right now.
168th Street
Omaha, Nebraska
If You People Don’t Get Busy, I’m Out Of a Job
Lab worker packing specimens to send to reference lab: Wow! I don’t have any gonorrhea or chlamydia today!
Kokomo, Indiana
