Office lady to coworker: I don’t mean to be offensive, but he’s a handsome rapist.
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Jennifer
Archive for August, 2019
The “Don’t Ask? Do Tell!” Policy
Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Do you need me to come over there?
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): No, sir, I just got it up. Everything’s fine.
Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Well, let me know if you need help and I’ll send someone over.
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): Roger that, sir.
Pacific Fleet Headquarters
Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
Overheard by: Just a lowly contractor
It’s a Hot-Button Issue for Elephant-Americans
Cube dweller #1: You like chunky peanut butter, don’t you?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, I do.
Cube dweller #1: Pervert.
135 East 57th Street
New York, New York
12PM Lunch
Receptionist over the intercom: Obituaries…Mmmmmmm.…
16 Bailey Avenue
Ridgefield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Nikki
Broke Our Fun Meter
Boss (walks in and says, deadpan): My wife had a stripper over this weekend and now my entire house smells like coconut oil.
Victoria Parade
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Feeling inqdequate about MY weekend…
P.S. — Sally the Clown Sounds Hot
Telemarketer: Hello, could I speak to Wally the Clown please?
(short pause)
Telemarketer: Oh, sorry to disturb you then. (to coworker) Dialed the wrong number!
Talbot Road
Manchester
England
Overheard by: Thomas
And She Was So Smart for Figuring That Out
Girl: Did you notice the way their baby looked?
Guy: Um, yeah.
Girl: It’s because she didn’t do drugs or alcohol when she was pregnant. It makes a big difference, you know? That’s why the baby is so smart.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
And the Way He Was Endowed by His Creator. Mmm…
Boss, showing book owned by Thomas Jefferson: You know, I get turned on by Jefferson.
Richmond, Virginia
11AM Brainstorming Session
Co-worker #1: I’ve got a great idea for our new slogan: “Ask me how to get trim!”
Co-worker #2: Uh…I am just going to say that I am not comfortable with that.
4849 South Austin Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Which Is Why I’m “Employee Of the Month”
CSR to coworker: I don’t really understand sororities. I’ve always been able to make friends, get drunk and have random sex without having to pay dues.
Nashville, Tennessee
