Male coworker to Helen: I shaved, Helen.
Helen: I thought we were going to keep that a secret.
Houston, Texas
Archive for May, 2019
“Tech support; can you help me?”
Techie #1: You know what’s better than eating girl scout cookies?
Techie #2: Eating girl scouts?
Techie #1: Um, I was going to say, “eating girl scout cookies with milk”.
Techie #2: Yeah, that’s pretty good too.
Techie #1: You’re a fucking sicko.
1 Wall Street
Madison, Connecticut
Overheard by: ^chi^
Whatever– It's All Disney to Me
Office guy on phone: We were at this park, and there were gators and alligators… I'm guessing the gators are native to thigh-land.
Middleboro, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mikey
Which Have Their Own Fan Base
Sales girl: Gérard Depardieu has weird balls.
Abbot Kinney
Venice, New York
12PM Lunch
Food service worker: What type of soda would you like today?
Female customer: Large.
Food service worker: Yes, mam’m. But what type or flavor did you want?
Female customer: I said large.
Food service worker: Yes, ma’am. Diet Coke? Sprite? Coke? What type?
Female customer: Are you fucking stupid or something? Large. A large soda. How many times do I have to tell you?
San Diego Mall Food Court
San Diego, California
About a Quarter Involve Your Dad.
Drone #1: I just don't know what to do with myself!
Drone #2: I have some suggestions, and I promise only about half involve your mom.
Kirkland, Washington
Overheard by: LDAP
1PM Lunch
Receptionist: I don’t know whether to throw up my hands or just throw up.
550 South Hope Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: oldcorps50
Anonymously, One Hopes
Female sales rep, poking head over cubicle: Sometimes I like to send my best customers pictures of silly things, like unicorns jumping over rainbows!
Keene, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Jon
I Thought Post-its Were the Sticky Notes
Word Processor: Critical Notes are great. They just pop right up and come in your face!
120 Wall Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Chaser0
The Doughnut Holes Are Especially Painful
Fat manager: I'm sweating Diet Coke and doughnuts.
Charlottesville, Virginia