Archive for April, 2019

Health Care! Get Over Here!

Black serv­er: I named my ba­by Carti­er.
Timid white serv­er: Oh, yeah?
Black serv­er: My sis­ter named her lit­tle girl Lexus Tiara.
Timid white serv­er: Oh, yeah?
Ghet­to white serv­er: They al­ways name they ba­bies af­ter shit they can’t af­ford!

Cir­cle Cen­tre Mall
In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Shat­man­du

Would a Richard Gere Joke Here Be So 1998?

I was sit­ting at my desk, mind­ing my own busi­ness, when this ex­change about guinea pigs be­tween two of my co-work­ers (I’ll use their ini­tials, l and e, to des­ig­nate them) came seem­ing­ly out of nowhere:
L: “you can’t keep guinea pigs in their cages all the time! You have to let them run wild and free!” **brief pause** “once a week.“
E: **laughs and ex­press­es gen­er­al in­creduli­ty**.
L: “you have to let them stretch their legs! Like a dog, or they’ll get arthri­tis!“
E: “what about those balls?“
L: “that’d break its back! A guinea pig is, like, the size of my foot! Those are for ham­sters!“
E: “well, they’re ro­dents!“
L: “guinea pigs are not ro­dents! They’re lit­tle balls of fur and love!”

500 Ross Street, Pitts­burgh, PA