Archive for March, 2019

… Where I Went to School

Man hang­ing up phone: Wow, that guy had a neat ac­cent. He said he was from the Unit­ed King­dom.
Woman: Unit­ed King­dom? That’s in Flori­da, right?
Man: No, I think that’s the Mag­ic King­dom…
Woman: Oh, you’re right! Unit­ed King­dom is in Ken­tucky.

Spar­tan­burg, South Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Ser­vice Dis­patch­er

Why Si­mon Says is On­ly Fun in Kinder­garten

Su­per­vi­sor: Go to your com­put­er and pull up the client file you showed me ear­li­er, the one that was wrong. I need to show it to the IT peo­ple.
Work­er: I can’t be­cause I delet­ed it.
Su­per­vi­sor: Why did you delete it?
Work­er: Be­cause you told me to.
Su­per­vi­sor: Don’t do what I tell you! Do what I say.

Franklin Square
Spring­field, Illi­nois

5PM That’s a Wrap

Boss: Oh you fuck­ing id­iot!
Pause
Boss: Why don’t you just go home, you wanker!
Boss walks out of the of­fice.
Em­ploy­ee: Who are you yelling at?
Boss: Me, I’m go­ing home!

301 Pirie Street
Ade­laide, Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Jes­si­ca