Archive for January, 2019

You Might Feel Cool­er With­out the Mus­tache

Fe­male Med­ical Records clerk, in thick Ger­man ac­cent: It’s so fuck­ing hot in here. But I used to have a prob­lem with sweat­ing a lot when I lived in Ger­many, too. I think I have too much testos­terone.

Tem­ple, Texas

Over­heard by: Pup­psM­cGee

If They Ever Get out of the Burn Unit

Guy: Why can’t you just have the par­ty at your place?
Girl: ‘Cuz I lost my dam­age de­posit af­ter that one time when that guy caught him­self on fire.
Guy: A guy caught him­self on fire and you lost your de­posit?
Girl: Well, he dropped and rolled on the car­pet. Then some­one tried to put out the em­bers with rum, so the car­pet caught fire too.
Guy: .…
Girl: Yeah, no more par­ties at my place cuz I have stu­pid friends who to­tal­ly owe me $500 now.

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Nosey

…Get the We­b­cam!

Fe­male cowork­er: Some­body’s poor vagi­na. It’s gonna col­lapse on her!

Raleigh, North Car­oli­na

He Thinks Peo­ple Are Com­ing On to Him When They Flip Him Off

Co-work­er #1 gives co-work­er #2 the hand sig­nal for dev­il horns.
Co-work­er #3, re­turn­ing the sig­nal: Los­er.
Co-work­er #1: What did you say that for?
Co-work­er #3: You called me a los­er, so I called you a los­er.
Co-work­er #1: I did not. I was giv­ing Kel­ly* the dev­il horns.
Co-work­er #3: Oh, sor­ry.
Co-work­er #1: It’s okay. I guess it’s easy to think that peo­ple are call­ing you a los­er be­cause you still live with your par­ents.

800 Mar­ket Street
St. Louis, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: We were sup­posed to be work­ing