Archive for 2018

1PM Lunch

Work­er #1: To­day was like In­ter­na­tion­al Day at Mc­Don­alds this morn­ing. Not one per­son spoke with a Mid­west accent…I was gonna be like, “Oh, they are so fuck­ing up my break­fast.”
Work­er #2: Did you hear that there are more ter­ror­ists in Ohio?
Work­er #1: Yeah? First they want to blow up our malls here in the city, now kill the Pres­i­dent. They are al­ways in Ohio. You nev­er hear about them in like, Mon­tana. That’s where the Nazis are.
Work­er #3: Yeah, the ter­ror­ists are up there on the 4th floor…You should go up there.
Work­er #2: I’m not go­ing up there.
Work­er #1: They do have a nice floor up there.

1 Eas­t­on Oval
Colum­bus, Ohio


Busi­ness­man: Can I get a de­caf cap­puc­ci­no?
Wait­er: Ac­tu­al­ly, we on­ly have reg­u­lar cap­puc­ci­no here.
Busi­ness­man: Okay, I’ll have one of those, just give me your phone num­ber so I have some­body to talk to when I can’t sleep tonight.

State Street
Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Kids! How Many Things Can You Find Wrong with This Quote!

In­tern #1: Sor­ry, I can’t go out tonight. I have to get a tat­too.
In­tern #2: Oh, what are you get­ting?
In­tern #1: This proverb: “time wast­ed can nev­er be re­claimed.“
In­tern #2: That’s deep.
In­tern #1: Yeah, it was be­tween that and a lol­lipop on my hand. But I did a Twit­ter poll and they vot­ed on the proverb.

Man­hat­tan, New York

Over­heard by: Han­ly