Archive for 2018

Should I Start Re­fer­ring to Yeast In­fec­tions As “In­fil­tra­tion of the De­fen­sive Line”?

Fe­male cowork­er #1: I’m sure *Mark hates be­ing the on­ly guy on these smoke breaks; es­pe­cial­ly when we start talk­ing about our vagi­na is­sues.
Fe­male cowork­er #2: That’s how I feel when y’all talk about foot­ball. Foot­ball is my vagi­na.

Sex Toy Com­pa­ny
Las Ve­gas, Neva­da

Over­heard by: Sex Writer God­dess

2PM Filler Ar­ti­cle

Woman #1: I got to in­ter­view David Has­sel­hoff to­day.
Woman #2: You get all the best as­sign­ments!
Woman #1: I know, right?

450 West 33rd Street
New York, New York

And the Ex­tra Di­a­pers Re­al­ly Came in Handy Af­ter the Ba­by Was Born

Cowork­er: You have kids?
New guy: Yeah, two. You?
Cowork­er: No, but we start­ed try­ing.
New guy: Are you kid­ding? This is the great­est time of your life. I know a guy whose wife did all role playing–you know–when they were try­ing. Said he nev­er had bet­ter sex…ever!
Cowork­er: (blush­es).

Court & Mon­tague
Brook­lyn, New York

Over­heard by: INQ

Her Name Is Ru­Paul

Client with sick dog: I need to see the vet­eri­nar­i­an on du­ty be­cause my dog is­n’t feel­ing well.
Vet­eri­nar­i­an re­cep­tion­ist: Is your dog a male or fe­male?
Client with sick dog: She’s a male.

Woost­er, Ohio

Over­heard by: net­ty

My Work Here Is Done

Fi­nance man­ag­er: “every time I see tim [one of the deans], I just keep think­ing about how I saw him once in the bath­room, slumped over a uri­nal…“
Ex­ec­u­tive as­sis­tant: “mar­shall, please stop now.“
Fi­nance man­ag­er: “… Like he could­n’t get all the way to the toi­let. He was tossin’ his cook­ies. He looked bad. I asked him if he need­ed a ride home, and he said his wife was com­ing. I guess when your time is up, you’ve got­ta do what you’ve got­ta do. At least he made it past the sink. It has that lit­tle grate thing in it.“
Ex­ec­u­tive as­sis­tant: *face in hands, shak­ing her head back and forth*.
Fi­nance man­ag­er: “you’ll prob­a­bly think of that every time you see him now, huh?” *walks away*.

An­schutz Med­ical Cam­pus
Au­ro­ra, CO

Over­heard by: I Don’t Get Paid Enough