Archive for 2018

Any­way, Long Sto­ry Short: I Spill Caulk on My­self at Least Once a Day Now, Though Usu­al­ly at Night

Re­tiree vis­it­ing the of­fice: I was work­ing on the win­dows and run­ning around the yard with my caulk in my hand, and I have this neigh­bor, Dave*, who was stand­ing in the bush­es, and I did­n’t see him. But Dave scared me and there was caulk every­where — caulk all over the win­dows and caulk on my hands. No, I’m se­ri­ous, there were inch­es of it com­ing out! You guys aren’t even lis­ten­ing to me! I did­n’t know what to do about all of the caulk on my hands but I called the 800 num­ber on the side of it and the guy said that fric­tion could get it off.

110 Nel­son Road
Saska­toon, Saskatchewan

Still Bet­ter Than Buck­nell

Co-work­er #1: You mean Napoleon Dy­na­mite?
Co-work­er #2: No, Napoleon Bona­parte.
Co-work­er #1: Was he that ex­plor­er guy?
Co-work­er #2: No, he was a French general…if you’ve ever heard the phrase “Napoleon com­plex” that’s where it comes from, be­cause he was a short guy who thought he was the shit…
Co-work­er #1: Oh…I’ve nev­er heard of him.
Co-work­er #2: How’s that IU ed­u­ca­tion work­ing out for you?

3699 West Lath­rop
South Bend, In­di­ana