Archive for 2018

Stu­pid Twen­ty-First Cen­tu­ry

Suit #1: The RFA for the ‘o’9-‘o’10 year are…
Suit #2: “O’9-‘o’10?” You mean “ ‘o’9–10.“
Suit #1: There is an­oth­er ze­ro in 2010.
Boss: Yeah, ‘o’9–10’o’!
Suit #1 & #2: “10’o”?!
Boss: What? Is­n’t that right?
Suit #2: No, he meant dou­ble ‘o’9 and ‘o’10.
Suit #1: I hate my life.

Lin­coln, Ne­bras­ka

Over­heard by:

Trans­la­tion: You Are Mine, to Use and Abuse As I See Fit

Pro­fes­sor: So we’ll have lab meet­ing on Mon­day, then.
Grad stu­dent: Um, that’s La­bor Day, so peo­ple will prob­a­bly be away.
Pro­fes­sor: Away? Why?
Grad stu­dent: Be­cause it’s a fed­er­al hol­i­day?
Pro­fes­sor: Well, we’re not fed­er­al, so we don’t take fed­er­al hol­i­days.

Johns Hop­kins Uni­ver­si­ty
Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Lab­Cat

There Are Used Vi­bra­tors on EBay (Don’t Ask How We Know)

Guy: Me and the wife are go­ing out this week­end. You think you could hook me up with…uhh, some hap­py fun time shit?
Girl: Are you se­ri­ous? I don’t think I have any­thing you’d like. How do you know what your wife wants?
Guy: What the fuck? She wants weed, end of sto­ry!
Girl: Oh, shit! I thought you were talk­ing about sex toys!
Guy: Why the fuck would I ask to bor­row some­one else’s sex toys?
Girl: I…uh…
Guy (smirk­ing): So you have sex toys, huh? What kind?
Girl: Shut up!

Cen­ten­ni­al, Col­orado

Over­heard by: Trou­ble