Archive for 2018

Or at Least the Part He’s Kissing

Girl: Auntie Dee*, how did you know Uncle Frank* was in there.
Auntie Dee: Well, Molly*, he’s not in the waiting room, so he has to be in there with the doctor.
Boy peering in window to exam rooms: He’s kissing that nurse like he knows her!

Doctor’s office
Ridgewood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Patiently Waiting

2PM Smoke Break

Guy: I’m so beat. I stayed out till 4am drinking last night. I was going to go take a nap in the car, but I think that would be too obvious.
Girl: You can take a nap on the picnic table over there. Then maybe a cop will show up and arrest you because he thinks you’re homeless.
Guy: Bitch! This is business casual!

23825 Commerce Park
Beachwood, Ohio

No, That’s the IQ-Temperature Scale

Co-worker #1: Morning [Etienne].
Co-worker #2: Morning. It’s going to be hot today, it’s already 80 degrees out there.
Co-worker #1: My weather station said it was -15 degrees.
Co-worker #2: What is that, in celsius or something?

1345 Monroe Avenue NW
Grand Rapids, Michigan

You Say That Every Time

Manager: Well, you must have felt the body when you ran over it.
Employee with foreign accent: I did not feel it.
Manager: You didn’t feel a thump?
Employee with foreign accent: I thought I was dragging a trash bag.

Harborside Drive
East Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Addababy Itsaboy