Archive for 2018

Is There Any­thing You Guys Could Do about That?

Con­cerned moth­er on phone: My son just in­formed me that the room de­posits are due to­mor­row.
Sec­re­tary: Yes.
Moth­er: But I’m in Ger­many, and if I mailed in the mon­ey it would take two weeks.
Sec­re­tary: Your son could pay with a deb­it card or cash.
Moth­er: I gave him a deb­it card and he lost it.
Sec­re­tary: Uh-huh.
Moth­er: … My son is a god­damned id­iot.

Vir­ginia

Why Do You Say That, Pe­dro?

Ditzy CSR: Sketchy restau­rants have the best bur­ri­tos.
Busy cowork­er: Uh-huh.
Ditzy CSR: Be­cause if it’s not sketchy, it’s not Mex­i­can.
Busy cowork­er: Yeah… Uh… You should re­al­ly re­con­sid­er your phras­ing.

Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts


Sshh! Here It Comes!

Boss to em­ploy­ee: This per­son­’s navel looks ab­nor­mal­ly large.

Chica­go, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Ron­ni