Archive for 2018

2PM Mail Card

Writer: The stu­pid mail­room is like the Gestapo now. They won’t mail this greet­ing card for me. Can you give me a stamp?
De­sign­er: I guess so. I can get one at lunch for you.
Writer: Okay. Thanks. I’ll give you thir­ty-five cents for it.
De­sign­er: Thir­ty-sev­en cents.
Writer: You’re charg­ing a two-cent fee for a stamp? You’re worse than the damn mail room.

16340 North Scotts­dale Road
Scotts­dale, Ari­zona

Over­heard by: Miel

Ap­par­ent­ly “Make Stuff­ing” Is an Ar­cane In­sult in North Car­oli­na

(sci­en­tist gets in a packed el­e­va­tor)
Sci­en­tist: I can’t be­lieve it’s this busy the day be­fore Thanks­giv­ing.
Sec­re­tary: Sur­pris­ing­ly.
Sci­en­tist: I said: “I can’t be­lieve it’s this busy!” It’s the day be­fore Thanks­giv­ing!
Tech: It’s ac­tu­al­ly two days from Thanks­giv­ing.
Sci­en­tist: I’m go­ing to go home and make my turkey tonight. Have it ready for the fam­i­ly!
Suit: What a good idea. You should make the stuff­ing with it, save time.
(sci­en­tist smiles, gets off)
Tech: That was­n’t nice.
Suit: He fart­ed while in an el­e­va­tor, I don’t care.

Ex­treme­ly Small El­e­va­tor
Re­search Tri­an­gle Park, North Car­oli­na

11AM Go Through In­box

Co-work­er #1: Those jokes you emailed were re­al­ly fun­ny.
Co-work­er #2: Yeah they were. Which one was your fa­vorite?
Co-work­er #1: Num­ber twelve.
Co-work­er #2: Which one was that one?
Co-work­er #1: Um, the one right af­ter num­ber eleven, dork.

910 Lou­siana Street
Hous­ton, Texas

3PM Smoke Break

Lawyer on cell: Why do you call me when you’re try­ing to name your cats, but you don’t call me when you’re served with a sub­poe­na?

509 Madi­son Av­enue
New York, NY