Archive for 2018

I Want to Know Why I Called You

Man­ag­er: Ex­cuse me, sir, do you have me on speak­er­phone?
Guy: No, you have me on speak­er­phone!
Man­ag­er: Oh, look at that. Sor­ry, this is a bad con­nec­tion — are you on a cell phone?
Guy: Yes, you called my cell phone.
Man­ag­er: Oh, right. Do you have a desk phone I can call?
Guy: No, you called my cell be­cause I am not in the of­fice. Now, what do you want?!

Chica­go, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Is He Se­ri­ous?

Sor­ry, Just Fill­ing Out a Cos­mo Quiz

Se­nior bi­ol­o­gist: Don’t have them call me with any tech­ni­cal ques­tions. Have them call Jack* in Mu­nic­i­pal.
Red­neck en­gi­neer: Ya ever tie two cats to­geth­er by the tail and throw them over a clothes­line?
Se­nior bi­ol­o­gist: What?!

En­gi­neer­ing Firm
New Cum­ber­land, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: in­tern lib­er­al bi­ol­o­gist

A Man­ly Man Can Al­ways Use More Hares on His Chest

Male en­gi­neer #1 (clean­ing a draw­er): Oh, look! Tem­po­rary tat­toos. Here, you can have them.
(male en­gi­neer #2 takes them and looks them over)
Male en­gi­neer #3: You can put them in your man­ly chest.
Male en­gi­neer #2 (ex­cit­ed­ly): Ooh, a bun­ny!

Mata­moros, Mex­i­co

Over­heard by: Fe­male En­gi­neer­ing In­tern (snick­er­ing)