Archive for 2018

4PM Buy New Fax

Boss: So that fax machine is jamming again? I thought the repairman was just in here fixing it? What did he say?
Employee: No, it was that one that he fixed. You switched the faxes, right? So the good one is up here and the bad one is in the back?
Boss: No. I told you this morning that I wasn’t going to do that because your mom was coming in to fax tomorrow so we might as well just get the bad one fixed.
Employee: Who were you talking to? The repair guy? Are you sure you were talking to me?
Boss: No, I was talking to the post.

18 Sycamore Avenue
Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey

Overheard by: GrIzZlEbEe!!!

Tonight's Movie: Pulp Friction

Male coworker: So after she leaves, I'm gonna take her orange out of the trash and make sweet, sweet love to it.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania


11AM Installation

Soldier #1 is walking around slapping people on the ass with a length of stainless steel hydraulic line.

*swat!*

Soldier #1: You like that, dontcha bitch? You want some more?
Soldier #2: Oh yeah, give it to me papi!

*loud swat*

Soldier #2: OW!! [brief pause] Yeah, that was good…
Soldier #1: You want another one?
Soldier #2: Not yet, papi, I gotta go get the Crisco and rub it on my ass first.
Soldier #1: You have 5 minutes.

Bldg 2411-B
Fortt Eustis, Virginia

Overheard by: Jason Grier