Archive for 2018

The Correct Answer Is “Not at All”

Excited peon #1: Hey, did you know that Anna Nicole Smith died, like, months ago?!
Excited peon #2: Wow! Really? She’s the one that lost all that weight, right?
Excited peon #1: Yeah! How’d you like to be the medical examiner doing that autopsy?

480 Washington Boulevard
New Jersey

‘Fuck You’ Was More of a Request Than an Expletive

Manager: Can you gather up the other guys? We have to move a bunch of stuff.
Employee: Fuck you.
Manager: What did you just say to me?
Employee: Fuck you, asshole.
Manager: Are you nuts?
Employee: Fuck you, bitch.
Manager: You’re fired. Get out of here.
Employee: I wasn’t clocked in. You can’t fire me.
Manager walks to computer, clocks him in, says, ‘You’re fired,’ and then clocks him out.
Employee: That’s so unfair.

Circle Centre Mall

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Each Is as Unique as a Snowflake

Worker #1: One time, when i was working at the bar, I was getting one from this girl in the bathroom and i grabbed the back of her head when she tried to pull away and i said “nuh-uh, honey.”
Worker #2: Isn't that a little cliche? In the bathroom of a bar?
Worker #3: There's nothing cliche about blowjobs!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: pemulis