Archive for 2018

Unique (adj.): Un­like Any­one or Any­thing Else

Sales guy: We’re go­ing to go around the room and name unique things about [the com­pa­ny]. If you can’t think of one when it’s your turn, you have to sit down. The last per­son stand­ing wins a gift card to Star­bucks.
Drone #1: Trust­wor­thy.
Drone #2: Re­silient.
Drone #3: Glob­al ser­vices.
Drone #4: In­spir­ing.
Drone #5: Fo­cused.
Drone #6: Ca­pa­bil­i­ties.
Drone #7: Mul­ti­cul­tur­al.
Drone #8: Peo­ple care.
Drone #9: Adapt­abil­i­ty.
Drone #1: Se­cure.
Drone #2: Em­ploy­er of choice.
Drone #3: Fi­nan­cial vi­a­bil­i­ty.
Drone #4: Re­spon­sive.
Drone #5: In­tegri­ty.
Drone #6: Straight­for­ward.
Drone #7: Am­bi­tious.
Drone #8: Ex­per­tise.
Drone #9: In­no­v­a­tive.
Drone #1: Re­li­able.
etc…

350 Madi­son Av­enue
New York, NY

12PM Serv­er Up­grades

Serv­er sup­port: The serv­er is still tak­ing er­rors?
Net­work sup­port: Okay?
Serv­er sup­port: Did you run the new ca­ble we asked for?
Net­work Sup­port: Yes.
Serv­er sup­port: Are you sure you ran it to the cor­rect serv­er?
Net­work sup­port: Yes.
Serv­er sup­port: Did you test the ca­ble?
Net­work sup­port: Yes.
Serv­er sup­port: How did you test it?
Net­work sup­port: I fart­ed on one end and I could smell it on the oth­er.

1600 Dublin Road
Colum­bus, Ohio

9AM Back to Work

Boss: I sent you an email.
As­sis­tant: Oh, thanks.
Pause
Boss: You go­ing to read it?
As­sis­tant: No, I don’t do emails any­more. I gave that up.
Boss: Hm­mm.… I like that. “I don’t do emails any­more”. I like that. I’m go­ing to go with it.
As­sis­tant: Yeah, it’s work­ing for me so far.

8220 Eng­land Street
Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na