Archive for 2018

The Of­fice Rather En­joys Lucy and Ethel’s Hare­brained Schemes

Fe­male re­cep­tion­ist #1: Yeah, now he’s all dis­fig­ured.
Fe­male re­cep­tion­ist #2: A chipped tooth? They can fix that easy.
Fe­male re­cep­tion­ist #1: Yeah, but we’re try­ing to get a pre­scrip­tion for med­ical mar­i­jua­na. Or at least a hand­i­capped park­ing de­cal.

Jer­sey City

Over­heard by: It’s painful just lis­ten­ing

4PM Or­der Cov­ers

Co-work­er on phone: Hi [Vic­tor], I was just call­ing about the new nano cov­ers. They are priced the same and every­thing but one comes with a lit­tle white strap and the oth­er comes with a big black one…So it’s just the cus­tomer’s choice whether they want a big black one or a lit­tle white one?

432 St. Kil­da Road
Mel­bourne, Vic­to­ria
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Da­ta Mon­key

…Ac­cord­ing to the Postal Ser­vice

Ed­i­tor: Yeah, I don’t think we even had the crib set up when we brought my son home from the hos­pi­tal. He spent the first few weeks in a pack-and-play next to the bed. Re­al­ly, you can just put them in a box and they’re fine.

Pub­lish­ing House
Bal­ti­more, MD


Why Rome Fell

Em­ploy­ee on phone: My bud­dy just told me this sto­ry about how his wife was so drunk last week­end in a high-end club in the Hamp­tons, and she ran to the bath­room to puke but nev­er ful­ly made it to the toi­let. On top of that, as she was puk­ing every­where, turns out she was al­so shit­ting her­self. So now the whole club had to be closed down be­cause it smelled like shit and puke. Is­n’t that hys­ter­i­cal?

Boss walks in.

Em­ploy­ee to boss: Hey, do you know this club?
Boss: Yeah, I ac­tu­al­ly went there last Sat­ur­day night, but we left im­me­di­ate­ly be­cause it smelled like shit and vom­it.

60th Street & Madi­son Av­enue
New York, New York

Over­heard by: hold­ing-it-in