Archive for 2018

Af­ford Homes

Pe­on #1: Yeah, I got the print­er from this place that sells re­fur­bished com­put­ers. Home­less peo­ple do it.
Pe­on #2: Ah­hh, home­less peo­ple. What can’t they do?

12 Des­bross­es Street
New York, New York

Over­heard by: Grace

I Warned You About Poke Sal­ad An­nie

Cus­tomer #1: I don’t know how she thinks she’s hot.
Cus­tomer #2: Who?
Cus­tomer #1: Sweet tits.
Cus­tomer #2: (mum­bles ob­scen­i­ties)
Cus­tomer #1: Well, I don’t know what to tell you, you’re the one who al­ways dates mean, nasty women.

Evans­ville, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: RED­man

No­body Wants to Work With a Fe­tophile

Large dumb male hick to preg­nant ghet­to ma­ma in break room: Owwwwww. I wan­na feel him move! (touch­es her bel­ly) I wan­na hold him!
Preg­nant ghet­to ma­ma: You be so stu­pid. Stop that.
Large dumb male hick: But I just wan­na feel him kick. I wan­na hold it.
Preg­nant ghet­to ma­ma, rolling eyes: You are strange.
Large dumb male hick: (walks away sad)
Preg­nant ghet­to ma­ma to room: There is some­thing se­ri­ous­ly wrong wit dat boy.

Ba­ton Rouge, Louisiana