Archive for 2018

And Now She’s Rounding Down

Male banker on phone: He cheated on her and she took him back. Now I think she might dump him, which is really funny because, you know, he’s got everything, and she’s just so… average!

54th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: not-nearly -as-shallow female banker

The “Don't Ask? Do Tell!” Policy

Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Do you need me to come over there?
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): No, sir, I just got it up. Everything's fine.
Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Well, let me know if you need help and I'll send someone over.
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): Roger that, sir.

Pacific Fleet Headquarters
Pearl Harbor, Hawaii

Overheard by: Just a lowly contractor

Her Nails?

Customer, after waiting in reception for someone to help him: Hello, is anyone there?
Receptionist to coworker #1: They can wait a minute. It's not my job to sit there and help people when *they* want to come in.
Coworker #2, under her breath: Actually, it is.
Coworker #1, after receptionist rolls her eyes and leaves: What does she think we pay her to do?

Provo, Utah


1PM Lunch

Secretary: Well, we’re going to Jersey for that meeting, so we could go to the Village Gourmet.
Engineer: Yeah, that was good the last time.
Surveyor: Doesn’t the guy that owns that one own another one too, right down the street from the Village Gourmet?
Secretary: Yeah, but it’s really expensive, everything’s a la carte.
Engineer: What does a la carte mean anyway?
Secretary: Dude, you’re 26 years old and you don’t know what a la fucking carte means?
Surveyor: Aren’t you French Canadian, too?

One Penn Plaza
New York, NY

Overheard by: Melissa Miller