Archive for 2018

Not on My Watch

In­sur­ance co­or­di­na­tor on phone: I re­ceived your mold re­port and just for fu­ture ref­er­ence, “caulk­ing” is not spelled “c‑o-c-k-i-n‑g.”

Port­land, Ore­gon

Over­heard by: Ka­nee

1PM Lunch

Em­ploy­ee #1: What are you do­ing? Catch­ing up on your celebri­ty gos­sip?
Em­ploy­ee #2: Sci­en­tol­ogy to­day, ac­tu­al­ly.
Em­ploy­ee #1: I’ll join if you join!
Em­ploy­ee #3: Al­ready a mem­ber.
Mid­dle Man­ag­er: All of you shut up. Try­ing to have a silent birth over here.

3810 Wabash Dri­ve
Mi­ra Lo­ma, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Of­fice Derelict

Car­rie Canyon Set the Bar Pret­ty High

Old drone #1: In my fa­ther’s day all the men used to get in a cir­cle and mea­sure each oth­er.
Old drone #2: Well, women do that stuff all the time.
Young drone: What?
Old drone #2: Yeah, don’t you be askin’ your girl­friends if some­thin makes your boobs or butt look big?
Young drone: Yeah, but we don’t sit there and see who has the biggest vagi­na. Gross!
Old drone #2: Yeah, well, you would­n’t want to win that con­test.

Del­ran, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Bruce Ban­ner