Archive for 2018

Ca­reer Tip: Be the Of­fice Grownup, Dear Read­er

Of­fice work­er to col­leagues: Yes­ter­day, *jack* ran the dish­wash­er at 4 pm be­cause it was very near­ly full. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, maybe it was the right thing. What it was not I guar­an­tee you was the end of the world. The next time you feel a hot rage build at the sight of an er­rant bowl or spoon, please, take a deep breath. Con­sid­er a stroll through madi­son square park. Or do some­thing much more rad­i­cal and put the bowl where it be­longs, even if it’s not your prob­lem ac­cord­ing to the rules. It won’t hurt you I promise.

220 Fifth Ave, NYC


Take What, Ex­act­ly? No, Don’t Tell Me.

Cute gay guy: Tome Cruise and Katie Holmes were look­ing for an apart­ment on my street.
Fe­male cowork­er: Oh, re­al­ly?
Cute gay guy: Yeah, I live on Toorak Road. If they move there, I wan­na steal Suri. And have crazy bum sex on my bal­cony! (demon­strates by thrust­ing in the air) Take that, Sci­en­tol­ogy!

Mel­bourne
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Gig­gling

It Was Butt Cleav­age, Too

At­tor­ney to old­er male clerk: Re­mem­ber, they have to be is­sued be­fore April!
Fe­male para­le­gal to old­er male clerk: You’re gonna have to show cleav­age at the court!
Old­er male clerk: I tried that once; they took eight weeks!
Fe­male le­gal as­sis­tant, mut­ter­ing: There’s your men­tal im­age for the rest of the day!

Law Of­fices
Man­hat­tan, New York

Over­heard by: Cubed Up Near­by

She’ll Al­so Say This When She Gets a Pink Slip

Le­gal sec­re­tary: And then the phone calls start­ed to pe­ter out.
Para­le­gal: What? Pe­ter? As in “dick”?
Le­gal sec­re­tary: No! “Pe­ter out” means “to come slow­ly to an end.“
Para­le­gal: Oh. (paus­es) Still sounds a lot like a dick.

Green­wood, South Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Won­der­ing if every­thing has to be naughty